


Trying and Failing

by reigningqueenofwords



Series: Last Chance [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-08 08:39:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21232946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords





	Trying and Failing

When he returned from his hunt, there was no sign that he ever got that text the night before. Or that he’d chosen a beer over you. He didn’t change how he acted one way or the other.

Dean walked in, greeted the kids as always, pecked your lips, and went to put his things away. You hoped that maybe he didn’t want to bring it up in front of the kids, and that maybe that night the two of you could sit down for a chat. So, you did the same. You went about your day, putting the kids first. Playtime, lunch, dinner, bath time, story time, and finally, bed time.

Walking down the hall, you were already dressed for bed. One of his old shirts, which was something he’d always loved. Leaning on the wall, you watched him for a moment before speaking up. “Babe?” You started. “Come to bed?” All you wanted was to be close to him.

“I’ll be in bed after this movie is over.” He told you, motioning to the tv, never looking away from it.

Your heart sank, but you didn’t let him see that. “Okay, how much longer? Maybe I’ll stay up and read.”

Dean took a sip of his beer before answering. “It just started, so like…3 hours?” He glanced over to you. “Might as well get some sleep, it’ll be time to get him up for school before you know it.” He chuckled lightly.

Nodding, you sighed. “Night. I love you.” You told him.

“Love you.” He replied, his attention already back on the movie.

You willed your tears to wait until you were in bed. Your eyes stung, your heart ached, and you were sick to your stomach. His first night home, and he didn’t even want to spend it with you. Hell, he’d barely spent any time with the kids, either.

Finally, you cried yourself to sleep, clutching your pillow.

* * *

Feeling the bed dip slightly, you felt the tiniest bit of hope. You moved to try to lay on his chest, or your back to his chest…just to see his back. And you could tell he was out already. Flopping to your back, you felt the tears starting again. Your head was now pounding, but that didn’t matter. You still had kids to raise.

It was too early for you when you climbed out of bed, leaving a passed out Dean. You watched him sleep as you pulled your hair up and grabbed some lounge pants. Taking a deep breath, you put on your mom face. The face that gave nothing away.

The kids both were yelling for Dean, but you knew that he always slept in after hunts. So, you did your best at keeping them quiet, or at least at a lower volume for now. And, of course, you failed.

Dean came out of the bedroom, clearly pissed, and you knew it was going to be a long day. “Hi, Daddy!” Came the perky voice of your daughter.

“Hey, princess.” He greeted her, giving her a small smile.

Swallowing, you spoke up. “Do you want me to make that bagel, egg, cheese, and bacon sandwich with hashbrowns for breakfast?” You asked, knowing that was his favorite.

He shrugged. “Sure, whatever.” He told you, and your eyes burned again, but you forced it down.

* * *

That’s how it seemed to go. There were moments where he was the old Dean again, but those times were fleeting. You’d watch him in those brief times and your heart would soar, seeing the man you’d fallen in love with.

Before you knew it, he was walking out the door for a hunt. No kiss, nothing more than a goodbye, and telling the kids to be good. To the outside world, everyone gushed about what a loving husband he was, about what an amazing father he was, and you wanted to scream at them to wake up.

You were curious if he’d bother with you if you didn’t text him first. In the week he was working, he’d texted you twice- to do with the case. Nothing more. You were at a loss. You were trying! You were making his favorite foods, wearing his favorite colors, wearing your hair how he liked it, and nothing worked. You hoped that something would click, and he’d snap out of this.

Their final night there, Sam actually sent you a picture of him and Dean laughing it up at the bar. You were glad you were already in your room. Your back hit the door and you slid to the floor, your face in your hands as you sobbed. He hadn’t smiled in so long at you, even in pictures it looked forced. Yet, there he was, looking happier than he had with you in a long time.

It made you wonder if he regretted everything. Did he even want you and the kids anymore?


End file.
